Tina Gao, Mariotts Ridge HS to Wharton at Penn (Class of 2018)

On Fri, Dec 20, 2013 at 10:31 AM, Tina Gao wrote:

Dear Mr. Thomson and Dr. Li,

I would like to thank both of you so very much for all the help you have offered me during the college admission process. I'm truly grateful for everything I learned at the college essay writing workshop and I'm excited to inform you that I have been admitted ED to Wharton at Penn! It's been an amazing journey, and I'm so happy to be part of the Class of 2018. Once again, thank you so much and have a wonderful holiday season!
 
~Tina Gao
 
Note1: Tina scored 2370 in SAT in Oct 2012. You may find her sharing here.
 
Note2: A thorough college advisory service is availale here.

Last Name: Gao
First Name: Tina

SAT: 2370, Oct 2012
Current School: Marriotts Ridge High School
Current Grade : Gr12

        The college application essay is every senior’s darkest dread. In the increasingly arbitrary world of admissions, it would seem as if subjective elements are disproportionately more important than hard, objective statistics. The anxiety and horror the college essay represents is, therefore, hardly surprising. We’ve all heard the stories about how some friend of a friend—perfect SAT scores, valedictorian status, presidency of at least five school clubs, and state champion—got waitlisted at Dream School # 1, and the blame instantly goes to the essay.

I, too, experienced similar emotions of panic and uncertainty during the summer of my senior year, especially because I am not an exceptional writer nor am I particularly adept at the nuances of the English language. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I signed up for Dr. Li and Dr. Thomson’s writing workshop. On one hand, I felt it was almost unnecessary because I had already finished the vast majority of my essays earlier in the summer, but on the other hand, I didn’t feel confident enough to let such an opportunity slip by. I am, needless to say, tremendously glad that I decided to attend the first class.

The lessons themselves took up Saturday mornings, and were structured around the different types of college application essays: “Why Dream College # 1”, “Tell Us About Yourself”, and “The Creative Question”. Other tips and tricks, such as eliminating expletive construction or vague language, were dispersed throughout the six-week period amongst Dr. Thomson’s famous humorous anecdotes. During this time, I ended up revising many of my first draft essays, though I would continue to work on these into the school year and up to the very day my applications were due. I also found the motivation to tackle some of the less enticing essay prompts, thanks to the nudges from homework assignments and crowd mentality. The classes were very discussion-based, and I quickly fell in love with the organic conversations that sprouted from shared interests and worries. Additionally, Dr. Thomson’s experience and expertise in the arena was, and continues to be, infinitely advantageous. In the following paragraphs, I want to draw your attention to two aspects in particular that I especially enjoyed about the class.

First and foremost, my fellow classmates elevated the writing workshop from didactic discipline to exuberant exploration. Many of them were also being specially advised on the college admissions process, giving the class a more rigorous atmosphere (although I never had consulting sessions, I have heard nothing excellent praise for the program). We often dissolved into discussion groups to talk about the merits and downfalls of particular essays, which provided each of us with many more perspectives regarding our own writing. For example, after reading the work of a girl who had been accepted into a top-tier school, we transitioned into a natural debate on the degree to which her personal experiences made her essay engaging. That day, I learned to dramatize life events like a silent black and white film—an image is more powerful than mere sounds or words on a page, even if the image is grainy and unembellished.

Another time, we peer edited each other’s essays. A classmate happened to be applying to the same college I was, and the insight he offered me was tremendously beneficial. In fact, I ended up deleting an entire paragraph I had been wholly satisfied with and I subtly shifted the tone of my full response. The process was actually a lot different than having a close friend read my essay because the dialogue would have been less candid and less specific. Two minds are clearly better than one, and where else can so many aspiring, intelligent seniors gather for the sole purpose of perfecting college application essays?

Dr. Thomson was, undeniably, the central pillar of the writing workshop. His invaluable insights go beyond the college essay and even college itself, and I’m happy to say that I learned many life lessons that continue to enrich my existence today. After all, what is an application essay but an exciting culmination of experiences? It is, in short, the byproduct of an interesting life. From a more practical perspective, Dr. Thomson helped edit many of the written works I had believed were flawless. Not only did he catch grammatical lapses, he also provided structural suggestions and points of clarification. I found it an incredibly important step in my essay writing process because Dr. Thomson wasn’t as familiar with my work as my friends, teachers, and parents; therefore, he could act as a distant admissions representative reading my writing for the first time, catching tiny slips certainly imperceptible to me. Although his edits are limited due to the personal nature of the application essay, our conversations have taught me much about the art of communicating on paper.

If you are seeking a miracle cure for bad writing or an inexhaustible well of ideas for your personal essay, you have come to the wrong place. This workshop will not spontaneously elevate your grasp of language or make you eloquent or even guarantee a watertight essay. It will, however, challenge you to think outside your comfort zone and approach essay writing from a fresh point of view that calls for improvisation, honesty, and dynamic thought. If you sign up with an open mind, a humble disposition, a desire to learn, and several well-prepared essays in hand, you will gain much from the class and the benefits will last far beyond its conclusion. This is not a class for the apathetic—the results don’t start flowing in as soon as you pay your deposit—it is a class for the go-getters, the people determined to take what they learn and apply it to their own situation.

A final word of advice to incoming seniors: remember that in the end, it won’t matter what brand name college you graduated from. What will matter is how you spent your four years there, and which opportunities you decided to pursue. Keep the big picture in mind and pour your heart and soul out into your essay, and you will not go wrong.